Daily Rotten Archives January 17, 2002 2001 | 2002 | 2003 | 2004 | 2005 | 2006 | 2007 | 2008 | 2009 Olympics to ban ice skating porn The Sun | Submitted by: Soylent "Judges will now deduct points for dirty dancing [moves showing too much crotch action] as bosses fear the family-friendly sport is in danger of attracting the wrong kind of spectator." [Such as... heterosexual men.] There is an earlier Dailyrotten article on this subject in the Archives, complete with nasty unshaven crotch shot. Read article... Postcards from the edge Detroit Free Press | Submitted by: grogg If you are the subject of a hot pursuit by local po-lice, and you escape, stop and count your blessings there. Do not taunt your pursuers with postcards regailing them with tales of your chili cheese fries and the adrenaline rush of your escape. Two felonies and one misdemeanor charge later, Douglas Ulysses Johnson is now facing up to 7 years in prison. Read article... James Earl Jones to kick someone's ass South Florida Sun Sentinel | Submitted by: z0rak187 [Only linking to this because about 20 people submitted it yesterday.] James Earl Jones was confused with James Earl Ray on a plaque for a commemoration of Martin Luther King Jr. Day, specifically for keeping the dream alive. Recall that Mr. Ray is the one who shot the dream dead in Memphis on a motel balcony. The plaque was made in Texas, go figure. Read article... New Mexico may liberalize drug laws Dallas Morning News | Submitted by: Soylent Governor Gary Johnson: "The bills are small steps in the right direction. The current failed war on drugs is draining the nation and state of vital resources. I believe New Mexicans are beginning to realize that the nation's drug war is not working and that treatment can be more effective and costs less than prison for drug offenders." Read article... Lizards feed on dead owner's flesh Associated Press | Submitted by: Jero Lizards have no conscience, or so learned Ronald Huff after he died unexpectedly only to have his pet lizards feed from his carrion. For reasons unknown, Huff let his seven Nile monitor roam free in his apartment, ultimately ending in the food chain inversion this week. Read article... Bush dealings and the terrorist finance crackdown GNN | Submitted by: Macki The crackdown on the world financial system following terrorist attacks has been widely reported. What has not been reported is that banks with ties to George W. Bush's dealings have been specifically excluded. Why has a crackdown on this terrorist financing not involved any banks in Bahrain, Kuwait, or Saudi Arabia? Logic would dictate that banks in those countries are the very banks that should be under the most scrutiny, but they are not. Read article... The Fifty Europorn Note Yahoo! Deutschland | Submitted by: Soylent A forgery of the new 50 Euro note, which surfaced in a Hessian grocery. You will notice this is no ordinary currency, it has tits. Also, it's lacking the usual watermarks and holograms. Some counterfeiter clearly has a little too much time on his hands. Read article...