Daily Rotten Archives February 3, 2002 2001 | 2002 | 2003 | 2004 | 2005 | 2006 | 2007 | 2008 | 2009 Indiana Mystery Creature Baffles Locals The Omaha Channel | Submitted by: CrazyCat "Whatever left the prints walked on two legs. And it wasn't human. Deckard is one of several people in and around the Hoosier National Forest, in the hills of Monroe County south of Bloomington, who have reported signs or sightings of a mysterious, upright-walking creature in the past few years... 'A cat walks on four legs, and a bear walks on four legs. They don't walk on two legs. This thing here walks on two legs with a round paw.'" Read article... New Jersey woman attempts Bobbitting New York Daily News | Submitted by: Bawahahaha "The man, bleeding profusely from his genital area, told police he had been wrenched from sleep by the pain of the wound and woke up to the sight of his wife standing over him with a large knife. 'Upon further investigation by the Hillsborough Police, it was determined that the defendant ... attempted to dismember her husband's penis while he was sleeping', Forrest said." Upon further investigation? Read article... God speed, Reverend Crandall Pensacola News Journal | Submitted by: anonymous "Standing in a green jumpsuit before Chief Magistrate Roger Vinson, the Roman Catholic priest pleaded guilty to conspiracy to possess and distribute more than 5 grams of methamphetamine and an indefinite amount of Ecstasy, waiving his right to a jury trial." Lessons in this story: 1. Religion isn't very interesting, a little speed will help muchly. 2. Don't buy your Ecstasy from a shady source, it might be fake. 3. No drug transactions at the Rectory. 4. If you're a priest who does deal drugs, don't attract attention by bleaching your hair. Read article... Human evolution over? Observer | Submitted by: Big Tony The premise of this article implies a doom to the human race: "For those who dream of a better life, science has bad news: this is the best it is going to get. Our species has reached its biological pinnacle and is no longer capable of changing." However, that opinion is short-sighted. What the author neglects to tell us is that cutting-edge humans will merge with nonbiological additions as well as incorporate genetically engineered customizations which will make us not only a nonhuman species, but an indistinct, highly diverse society of loosely defined intelligent beings. Those that refuse to adapt will suffer the consequence of irrelevance. But enough of my rant. Read article... Soft serve jail terms, with sprinkles Herald Sun | Submitted by: anonymous "They treat us like s---. We haven't even got a lunch room. We've just got some offices where there's people doing paperwork and crooks wandering in and out." The officer said prisoners seemed to get additional privileges whenever trouble erupted, such as the recent violence between a gang called the Taliban and another group of inmates. "It's like every time they arc up, a Coca-Cola emergency response van arrives", he said. Read article... Big Brother sneaks up on us Washington Post | Submitted by: Soylent "It might find, for instance, that one man used a debit card to buy tickets for four other men who sit in separate parts of the same plane, four men who have shared addresses in the past. Or it might discern an array of unusual links and travel habits among passengers on different flights." But note that this type of information profiling has never been available to the government so easily, and it naive of anyone to think that it won't be used for other purposes, and misused for many more. Think Nixon, think Bush and Cheney not cooperating with Congress to release information to which Congress is entitled to by law, and we have a bleak outlook for the future. Big Brother under the guise of airport security. Read article... Transit authority censors pro-drug speech Reason Online | Submitted by: Soylent "The Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority does not agree with the messages that Change the Climate, a drug policy reform group, wants to put on trains and buses in Boston. But it can't just say that. As a government agency, forbidden by the First Amendment to pick and choose among viewpoints, the MBTA has to pretend it has other reasons for turning down the ads. In a trial that begins today, a federal judge will decide whether any of these fig leaves is big enough to cover the transit authority's naked attempt to squelch dissent." Read article... When pet tigers attack South Florida Sun-Sentinel | Submitted by: jr "Pistilli and her husband had been helping Sipek paint his house for the last several weeks because he had broken his hand. On Saturday, Pistilli had brought steaks for the cats. The steaks had bones, and Bobo prefers meat without bones, Sipek said. So Bobo took his meat to a corner near the kitchen to eat by himself. Pistilli must have thought he had finished eating and had left the area, Sipek said." Read article...