Daily Rotten Archives February 26, 2002 2001 | 2002 | 2003 | 2004 | 2005 | 2006 | 2007 | 2008 | 2009 | 2010 | 2011 | 2012 Coach bites head off of sparrow Indiana Star | Submitted by: Mainstreet Borrowing a page from the Ozzy Osbourne Notebook for School Spirit, wrestling coach Aron D. Bright bit the head off of a sparrow, earning him two weeks suspension. "It was innocent fun," Bright said after the meeting. The students who saw him do it "laughed and laughed. They're still laughing about it. I think everyone took it as such -- as innocent fun." Read article... Raping friends between classes will make you tardy Ann Arbor News | Submitted by: Atanidil You are a 15 year old boy half way through your freshman year in high school. This is an important time of your life. Everything you do can go on that permanent record. So, no matter how much you may want to, don't rape your male friend in the bathroom between classes. It could decrease your chances of getting into the college of your choice. Thank goodness the school is on top of this. They've added two additional hall monitors to the existing roster of seven. In addition, the proper procedures were followed after the incident. The teachers of the victim and the defendant marked both boys tardy when they did not come to class on time. Well, thank god for that. After all, we wouldn't want a bad apple like that getting away without a tardy on his record. Read article... Cannibal faces long vacation Great Falls Tribune | Submitted by: xrandx In an earlier Daily Rotten we reported a short-order cook who dismembered a local boy and served the mystery meat to his neighbors. Bar-Jonah has now been convicted of three other unrelated counts, facing up to 130 years. "The defense wants you to believe that (Bar-Jonah) was simply the neighborhood's Mr. Rogers. But did you ever see Mr. Rogers entertaining children in his house wearing nothing but his underwear? He gave them a lesson, but not in math or reading. He gave them a lifelong lesson in abuse." Read article... Dwarf tossing suit imperiled Associated Press | Submitted by: Rio "A federal judge said that he will probably throw out a lawsuit attacking the state's ban on dwarf tossing. U.S. District Judge Steven Merryday said that he may end a Tampa man's lawsuit claiming the law prevents people with dwarfism from earning a living." [That is so true. Dwarves really aren't capable of meaningful work which doesn't involve their use as a projectile.] Read article... The most boring reality show ever Fox News | Submitted by: Crabby "TruthQuest: California is a Christian reality program that aims to rove not all of America's youth are selfish deviants, despite ample evidence to the contrary. [Some are evangelical deviants.] "I noticed they were using faith concepts, talking about trust and team work, and I thought, 'Wouldn't it be cool if we could do a show like this from a Christian perspective?'" [Yes! Reality shows that don't involve sex always seem to do very well.] Read article... Cuban wankers cause outrage Times | Submitted by: Soylent "An art exhibition open to children that features a video of naked men masturbating has been condemned by child protection agencies and city councillors. Ten Cuban men are depicted from the waist down, some bringing themselves to ejaculation, in the continuous loop film being shown at the Ikon Gallery in Birmingham, which receives Arts Council funding. Despite the explicit nature of the piece, children are welcome to attend the exhibition." How does this damage children, again? Maybe it grosses them out a little bit. Read article... Scamming the local radio Wall Street Journal | Submitted by: Soylent Now that large corporations are permitted to own many more radio stations than ever, they are running stations that pretend to be local and hope to fool the listening audience. For example, a Boise station owned by Clear Channel: "After the station went KISS on March 13, 2000, it began importing all of its DJs. Weekday mornings came from Los Angeles, middays from Cincinnati, afternoons from San Diego and evenings from Tampa, Fla. Two of the old rock station’s DJs were laid off. Later, one out-of-town KISS DJ moved to Boise to do a live afternoon show. As costs went down, ratings went up." Read article...