Daily Rotten Archives January 30, 2003 2001 | 2002 | 2003 | 2004 | 2005 | 2006 | 2007 | 2008 | 2009 Teens robbed cemetery, took remains to party ABC TV affiliates | Submitted by: Retro V "Three Long Island teens have been arrested for a ghoulish crime. They allegedly took a skeleton and two skulls from a historic cemetery and then dressed the bones in a costume for a party. Police say teachers heard one of the teens boasting about it and called them." Read article... and This article... Astronauts paint with pee Wire Services | Submitted by: Editfish "Urine was chosen as a component of the paint because it is naturally recurring resource that would allow for an endless supply of paint for a trip, say, to Mars. For color, the students learned from tribal elders about pigments from berries and plants, all approved by NASA for space flight." Read article... Fatties a flight risk? Sydney Morning Herald | Submitted by: hobitch Overweight passengers checking in for flights on small planes in the US may be asked to step on the scales along with their baggage in a new safety initiative... The plan was prompted by the January 8 crash of a twin-engine commuter plane, which dived into an aircraft hanger seconds after takeoff in Charlotte, North Carolina." Read article... Rosenthal's federal drug trial turns surreal AlterNet | Submitted by: I.P. TeAitchse "These legal tactics offer a blueprint of the government's strategy to halt the distribution of medical marijuana in California, and perhaps in the other seven states that have voted for it. "This is the federal government at war with its own citizens and I like to think that years from now we will look back on this as a dark chapter in our nation's history," said California State Assemblymember Mark Leno. ''The thought of a man like Ed Rosenthal being threatened with twenty years of imprisonment is an outrage. The man is not a criminal." Read article... Our students 30% off the regular price El Paso Times | Submitted by: Vauxhallvillian "A fourth grade teacher at Ysleta Elementary School is one of two El Pasoans arrested last week on suspicion of trying to sell someone else's child, Ysleta Independent School District officials said. Roberto Cortez, 46, a five year district employee, has been suspended with pay, school district officials said Tuesday." Read article... I know where the weapons are... Debka | Submitted by: I.P. TeAitchse "Fired four months ago from Saddam Hussein’s inner bodyguard detail, Jassem Abdullah, not his real name, but one of several aliases, lives in Amman in fear of his life. He moves from place to place taking his secrets with him. As a member of the elite trusted group of five to six men sworn to defend the Iraqi ruler with their lives, he claims to know where Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction are hidden, and points to three sites." Read article... Player coming to terms with losing testicle The Scotsman | Submitted by: anonymous "The doctor was concerned there was no swelling and when it was investigated he discovered it was because the testicle had been split and was bleeding inside... The removed testicle showed signs of damage from a previous rugby injury, which, the doctor explained, had already made it unable to fulfil its role in reproduction. It meant that had the new injury struck the other testicle he may have faced the possibility of being unable to father children." Read article... Your centre forward is a pig! Wire Services | Submitted by: Sparky "Farmers have been told to put a football, metal chains or hay in their pigsties to provide "environmental enrichment" for their animals... The ruling, originally from the European Commission and now being passed into law at home, is designed to stop pigs from getting bored and attacking each other." Read article... Nearly 30 years in jail due to paperwork mixup BBC | Submitted by: Rev. Soror Lucy Cannon "A Jamaican man who spent 28 years in jail without trial for allegedly breaking a window has reached an out-of-court settlement with the government, a human rights lawyer said... But Mr Nettleford was never brought back to court, as prison authorities wrongly called him Ivan Barrow and ignored the documents bearing his rightful name." Read article... A different kind of cat burglar Stuff NZ | Submitted by: JS Kiwi "Dandelion, the kleptomaniac cat, first started collecting when he was a year old and in two years has stolen more than 700 items, according to his owner Sara Peacock... His specialty is socks... Dandelion has expanded his collection to shoes, clothes, toys, purses, gloves, knickers, rags, pin cushions, sunhats, jewellery and much more." Read article... Britain ever so much more cruisy! Times | Submitted by: The Maelstrom "The new measures also cover gay sex in places such as public lavatories. The long-awaited legislation rewrites Victorian laws on so-called "cottaging" but ministers said those having gay sex in a public toilet could avoid prosecution provided the participants were in a cubicle with the door closed." Book your flights now. Read article... Bush box-coverer liable for prison time Washington Post | Submitted by: PETE "Covering up the "Made In" labels is against the law, a violation of venerable Title 19, Chapter 4, Subtitle II, Part 1, Sec. 134.11, which "requires that every article of foreign origin (or its container) imported into the United States shall be marked in a conspicuous place as legibly, indelibly and permanently" as possible, "in such manner as to indicate to an ultimate purchaser... [the] name of the country of origin of the article." Up to a $100,000 fine and a year in prison for violating this section. Read article... Feminist Porn AlterNet | Submitted by: I.P. TeAitchse "A skinny blonde girl periodically stops to spit vigorously on a gargantuan penis, and then gets right back to work. Her brow is knitted with fierce concentration as her mouth works back and forth, sucking and licking with painful earnestness. By the end of, say, an eternity, rivulets of sticky drool are running down her chin and perky breasts." Read article... Disney replaces vodka with milk and cookies Entertainment Weekly | Submitted by: SansACause "ABC/Disney will no longer let Jimmy Kimmel's guests drink on the show. In the first episode, he had celebs and the audience chugging vodka, but "after one woman in the crowd barfed near an executive from Disney (ABC's parent company), alcohol was taken off the menu." The new refreshment is milk and cookies. Maybe they'll add some Juggies, since no one would ever complain about that. Read article... Starts with bad breath Fox News | Submitted by: Boat6float "Sandra Bullock recently complained that her co-star Ben Affleck had smelly breath,' the Telegraph wrote, after the duo worked on Forces of Nature... Clark Gable might not have made women yearn to kiss him the way Vivian Leigh did in Gone With the Wind... Dentist Harold Katz treats so many celebs have stinky breath he's built a business of treating performers with halitosis." Slow news day? Read article... Monumental feco-glacier discovered Charlotte Observer | Submitted by: Crazy Quagga There are no words suitable to describe beauty of this magnitude. "the biggest pile of animal droppings he had ever seen, 8 feet high and stretching over a half-mile of mountainside.. "It was like being in the "Twilight Zone," said Rick Farnell, a colleague who helped investigate the find. 'You could see them from a distance, big, black bands of feces. I'm talking tons of it.'" Aww yeah. Boner. Read article... Goose victim sues West Palm Beach WKMG-TV 6 Orlando | Submitted by: Boat6float "Darlene Griffin, 30, claims in her lawsuit that the goose lunged at her son on Feb. 5 while he was standing near a pond in Okeeheelee Park." Blah blah blah, it goes on how the bitch broke here tail bone and 22 geese were removed. Read article... Man peed on frozen chicken, arrested KCTV-TV 5 Kansas City | Submitted by: biglamprey "An Olathe man charged Tuesday with urinating on packages of chicken in a supermarket cooler is the first person in Johnson County to face a new food-supply protection law. Pratt was charged under the section of the law that makes it illegal to expose a "raw agricultural commodity" to any contaminant." Read article... Behold the Kartoffelkanone Times | Submitted by: wingnut "German youths have taken up a dangerous new pastime: firing potatoes as fast as a rocket from "bazookas" made from drainage pipes. One man almost lost an eye, a woman had her leg broken and one teenager was badly burnt when the hairspray used as the propellant exploded in his face as he prepared to fire. Tests have shown that such a bazooka firing an empty film canister filled with sand and the cardboard centres of toilet rolls filled with cement could penetrate brickwork." Read article... Credit card soliciters issued racist shirt Louisville Courier-Journal | Submitted by: Dirty Sammy "The University of Louisville ordered an immediate campus ban on credit card solicitors after two of them offered students a promotional T-shirt that school officials said was racially and sexually offensive... The T-shirt, printed with a list of 10 Reasons Why a Beer is Better than a Black Man and illustrated with caricatures of a black couple, was one of the items the two offered students during a campus visit Thursday in exchange for applying for the credit card." Read article... Yo Quiero 911 Minneapolis Star Tribune | Submitted by: Dirty Sammy "A 911 call helped save a Chihuahua who was choking on the nose of a squeaky version of itself... Jennifer Gilbert called 911 last Tuesday after her Chihuahua, Gizmo, started choking on the cloth nose of his favorite toy, a Taco Bell dog that speaks Spanish when bitten." Read article... Would you like some breast-milk with that? Sydney Morning Herald | Submitted by: clove "Revelations that a restaurant in China is serving dishes cooked with human breast milk farmed from mothers living in rural areas have sparked public fury, newspapers reported yesterday... The Beijing Times said the milk came from six peasant women who were still breast-feeding their children. No details were given on how much they were paid." Read article... Oldies stand firm over luxury toilet occupation Mainichi Daily News | Submitted by: Erin Corliss "A luxurious toilet facility designed for tourists at a famous castle here has become the center of a battle between the municipal government and elderly Japanese chess players." Read article... Minister accused in ID theft Atlanta Journal-Constitution | Submitted by: jonsl "A single mother and multiple amputee... has suffered strokes, been comatose and had both legs below the knee amputated along with her right hand and three fingers on her left hand... She moved to metro Atlanta in 1997 to be closer to family and attended a few area churches before settling on Deliverance Life Tabernacle... she began to make donations... "And I just gave it to him because I trusted him. If you can't give your birth date and Social Security number to your pastor, then who can you give it to?" Read article... Joe Millionaire winner had hot bondage past Fox News | Submitted by: Crazy Quagga "The site said Kozer was clothed in her movie appearances, which included being gagged and hog-tied in a cheerleader's uniform. She also ties up other characters." From TSG: "While Kozer's films are thin on plot, they are filled with moans and groans from bound captives who have been gagged, hog-tied, or lashed to a post--and whom are often tickled by their captor." Read article... and This article... AOL-Time Warner make me horny ABC News | Submitted by: Crazy Quagga "Companies like General Motors, AOL Time Warner and Marriott earn revenue by piping adult movies into Americans' homes and hotel rooms, but you won't see anything about it in their company reports. And you won't hear them talking about the production companies that actually make the films, or the performers the producers hire, men and women as young as 18, for sex that is often unprotected." And why is this bad? Read article... Naked burglar escapes museum Bakersfield Californian | Submitted by: Orbital Bundle "A naked suspected burglar wasn't planning on making a fast getaway after police caught him rolling away from the scene in a wheelchair, wearing only a top hat and cape... Shane Michael Walton, 25, is suspected of breaking into and vandalizing two Kern County Museum buildings early Wednesday morning. Walton was arrested on suspicion of burglary and vandalism, Bakersfield police Detective Mary DeGeare said." Read article... Friends dump dead boy after car crash Sacramento Bee | Submitted by: Humboldt Honey "After the stolen car crashed and 15 year old Andrew Maggenti ended up buckled into the back seat with a broken neck last week, his three friends pulled him to safety and stretched him out on the dark ground in rural Sutter County. Then, in what authorities said was a horrifying lapse of judgment, one of the three young males called his father instead of 911, and before the night was over the father and a friend allegedly helped drive Maggenti's lifeless body 40 miles to dump it into a drainage ditch in Rio Linda." Read article... Men BEG to serve on jury News Corporation | Submitted by: The Good Doctor "Strippers and staff at an adult novelty store which offered sexual peep shows have lost an attempt to have an indecency case against them thrown out of court... In handing down his decision today, Senior Judge Tony Skoien, wrote whether the acts were indecent would be a question of fact for a jury to decide at trial." Read article... Spanish lions get unexpected treat Canadian Broadcasting | Submitted by: laurasaurus Another future recipient of the coveted Darwin, perhaps? "A British woman was in stable condition Thursday after a lion bit her arm off at the elbow at a Spanish zoo, officials said. The 54 year old woman... strayed from a group of fellow British tourists and stuck her arm through the bars of the lion pen to try to pet one of the animals." Verdict: delicious. Read article...