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Daily Rotten Archives
June 25, 2003
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Ugandan children's crusade gone completely psycho
Guardian | Submitted by: Otis Criblecross
"The hide-and-seek begins at bedtime when thousands of small figures emerge from grass huts and tramp towards the town of Kitgum in the gloom. ... Out in the bush, unseen, are other children: the seekers armed with AK-47s, clubs and knives. It is a game played every night in the nearby towns and villages, an area stretching for hundreds of miles. If the hiders are found by the child warriors of the Lord's Resistance Army (LRA), they experience one of three outcomes: they are killed on the spot, marched into the bush and killed, or marched into the bush and forced to become killers themselves. ... The LRA is led by Joseph Kony, an elusive mystic, thought to be in his 40s, who wants to rule Uganda according to the 10 commandments. ... There are documented cases of recruits forced to kill relatives, to march over spilled brains and to cook and eat human flesh."

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Epileptic man killed by own dog during seizure
BBC | Submitted by: nitanooo
"A London man was killed by his own dog as he suffered an epileptic fit, an inquest has found. ... Pathologist Kenneth Shorrock found Mr Dinham's throat had several deep bites, which severed the main blood vessel to the brain and his windpipe. ... Expert police dog handler Pc Peter Tallack said the dog, a Staffordshire bull terrier, was a loyal and friendly breed but would have been startled by the fit."

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Posthumous citizenship sought for suicided WWI vet
KNBC-TV 4 Los Angeles | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"A World War I soldier who killed himself 66 years ago when he found out he wasn't an American citizen should be granted posthumous citizenship, according to two lawmakers who are trying to change that through legislation. Republican Dana Rohrabacher and Democrat Jane Harman introduced a bill that would grant posthumous citizenship to John Castellano, an Italian who was so distraught in 1937 when he realized he was not an American that he wrote a suicide letter and drank a bottle of shoe dye."

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Retard hangs self because of "evil" website
MSNBC | Submitted by: Vida J. A.
"21-year-old Julie Veteto sank into a severe depression. Still, her family was stunned the afternoon her husband, Roger, came home to find her body dangling from a dog leash in their bathroom doorway. The couple's computer was still connected to the Internet. On the screen: a Web site with detailed information on suicide by hanging. 'This stuff shouldn't be online,' says Veteto's father... because of Julie's lifelong learning disabilities, 'there's no way she would have known how to kill herself if they hadn't told her how. ... These Web sites are evil,' he says."

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Nutball father, child flee imaginary poison gas
WKMG-TV 6 Orlando | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"A father who swam five hours to shore with his 11-year-old daughter after their sailboat capsized in the Atlantic Ocean is being held for a psychological evaluation, officials said Tuesday. ... Harrell said the man, who has sole custody of his daughter, thought poisonous gases were spreading across mainland Florida and taking his daughter out to sea was the only way to save her. ... 'He has some mental-health or behavioral issues and apparently had stopped taking his medication.'"

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NYC cop, firemen illegally fired for offensive parade float
Newsday | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"A federal judge in Manhattan ruled Tuesday that then-Mayor Rudolph Giuliani violated the free speech rights of a city police officer and two firefighters by firing them for donning blackface and riding on a controversial float during a 1998 Broad Channel parade. The government 'may not prohibit the expression of an idea simply because a segment of society finds it offensive,' U.S. District Judge John Sprizzo wrote in a 54-page decision. ... The trio break-danced, brandished watermelons and fried chicken containers, and pretended to re-enact the killing of James Byrd, a black man dragged to his death in Texas. The float, the three said, was a parody of the stereotypical views of their white neighbors. [Sure, sounds reasonable.] The three were fired in October 1998 and immediately filed suit seeking their jobs." With photo of the float.

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Microsoft insiders stealing software, getting rich
CNN | Submitted by: Angel Hair Pasta
"A former Microsoft employee accused of stealing software worth $17 million was charged with 62 counts of mail and computer fraud. ... Gregg, a former project coordinator for Windows development, is accused of ordering software with a retail value of $17 million through the company's internal software ordering system and then reselling it. ... The investigation was sparked by a similar case in which an employee, Daniel Feussner, was accused of stealing software with a retail value of $9 million and then using the money to buy expensive cars and jewelry. Feussner, who was awaiting trial on federal charges of wire, mail and computer fraud, died in February after drinking antifreeze."

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Eminem insensitive to Michael Jackson's feelings
theherald.co.uk | Submitted by: Rockpile
"Pop history repeated itself as farce yesterday when Eminem, the enfant terrible of rap, dangled a plastic baby over the edge of his hotel balcony in Glasgow, to the delight of the small crowd of fans who had waited all day to see him. His gesture parodied the actions of Michael Jackson, who last year provoked international outrage by holding a real baby -- purportedly his own -- over a hotel balcony in Germany in front of horrified crowds below. The rapper's latest stunt adds to a catalogue of incidents that have secured his status as one of the most controversial figures in pop music today, leading George W Bush to label him 'the most dangerous threat to American children since polio.'"

[By the way, if anyone has specific documentation on that Bush blurb, including the date and venue where he supposedly said it, mail it to staff@rotten.com. We would like to corroborate the quotation.]

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Cops kill escaped zoo monkeys who attacked woman and baby
highmarkfunds.stockpoint.com | Submitted by: stupid monkeys
"Four monkeys escaped from a zoo in northeastern China and attacked a woman and her baby before three of the animals were shot to death by police, the official Xinhua News Agency said Wednesday. ... 'One of the monkeys pounced on a woman holding a child, biting her arm before leaping back into the tree,' Xinhua said. It said police shot the adult monkeys 'to prevent further attacks.'" [As an example to the other monkeys?]

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Stymied Internet lover bangs self on head
herald-dispatch.com | Submitted by: maggot
"A man intentionally knocked himself unconscious Monday morning after the mother of a girl he met on the Internet refused to allow her daughter to go with him. ... When the man arrived at the home, he was met by the girl’s mother, who refused to allow her daughter to leave the house. After leaving the home, the man intentionally banged his head on the door frame of his car and fell to the ground unconscious. He was transported to Cabell Huntington Hospital for treatment."

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South Africa's answer to jimson weed
iAfrica | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"Cape Town police warned parents on Wednesday about an innocuous looking plant, which could 'give their children a high' but also has deadly consequences. The warning comes after a concerned Cape Town mother contacted the police. She said her 14-year-old son had been rushed to Karl Bremer Hospital last month after he started hallucinating and his pupils became dilated. A 19-year-old was also treated at the hospital for drinking the juice of the plant, commonly known as 'moonflower.'"

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Eight firemen extract corpse of fat shut-in
WKMG-TV 6 Orlando | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"Fire rescue workers were called to a trailer in Orange County, Fla., Tuesday to help remove the body of a 600-pound man, according to Local 6 News. A funeral home worker reportedly called for help Tuesday to move the 36-year-old man's body. ... eight fire rescue workers needed four hours to remove the man from his home." With video.

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Shoelace cam latest breakthrough in upskirt cinematography
KNBC-TV 4 Los Angeles | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"Police say James Rich filmed the underwear of a number of women at Sunday's annual classic car show in Palo Alto. Investigators say a camera lens was hidden in the laces of a shoe, with wires running up Rich's leg to a camera. A man attending the show told police he saw Rich following a woman around. He says Rich stood very close to the women -- and he wasn't looking at cars."

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Snoop Dogg tired of caucasian sluts
WKMG-TV 6 Orlando | Submitted by: Tim Howard
"The rapper, who appeared as the host on one of the raunchy strip videos, says he's done with the series because it doesn't feature women of color. 'If you notice, there hasn't been no girls of (ethnicity) at all on none of those tapes,' Snoop Dogg complained that the videos feature no black or Hispanic women, only white women. Snoop Dogg said he plans to do his own version of 'Girls Gone Wild' to satisfy women of color waiting for their chance to go topless for the camera."

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Iraqi Minister of Disinformation captured
Fox News | Submitted by: Bonny Fide
"Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, the Iraqi 'disinformation minister' who became world renowned for his ridiculously inaccurate news briefings in Iraq soon before coalition troops reached Baghdad, was captured at a Baghdad roadblock, London's Daily Mirror reported Wednesday. The Washington Times also reported that the Iraqi official, also known as 'Comical Ali,' was detained early Monday evening near the home of a relative. But U.S. Central Command has not yet confirmed that Al-Sahaf is -- or is not -- in custody. A public affairs officer noted that Al-Sahaf is not on the U.S. military's most-wanted list and was 'never being pursued.'"

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