Daily Rotten Archives February 13, 2004 2001 | 2002 | 2003 | 2004 | 2005 | 2006 | 2007 | 2008 | 2009 Porn star receives accidental chainsaw mastectomy Sky News | Submitted by: Mandrake "A German actress has been taken to hospital after a performance artist tried to cut her bra off - with a chainsaw. Former porn star Sibylle Rauch said it was the 'worst moment of my life' as the blade cut through her breasts. 'I thought, Sibylle, you're going to die,' the actress told Bild newspaper. 'I was terrified for my breasts.' The chainsaw operator, Marko Koenig, said Rauch was lying down during the rehearsal on Monday and suddenly bent forward just as he was applying the saw to her bra. 'I couldn't pull back the chainsaw quickly enough and cut her breast and stomach. It was terrible.'" Read article... and This article... Dumbshit American soldier alleged Al Qaeda wannabe MSNBC | Submitted by: Don Flynn "Spc. Ryan G. Anderson, 26, was arrested Thursday at Fort Lewis, near Tacoma, Wash., and accused of trying to provide information to the al-Qaida terrorist network, the Army said. The arrest came as Anderson's unit, the 4,200-member 81st Armor Brigade, was preparing for deployment to Iraq... A law enforcement source quoted by the Seattle Times said that Anderson, a tank crew member, did not have any security clearance and offered an undercover FBI agent who posed as an al-Qaida go-between 'common-knowledge stuff,' the type of information 'you could learn on the History Channel.'" Read article... and This article... Pigs enlisted to save Israeli bacon BBC | Submitted by: Graehme de Parke "Israeli police are to hang bags of pig lard on buses and in other public places to deter would-be Muslim suicide bombers, Israeli media have reported. The Maariv daily said rabbinical authorities sanctioned the plan to use the product - considered impure by Jews and Muslims - if it might save lives. Officials hope the prospect of defiling their bodies with blown up pig lard might discourage would-be recruits... if police do not enact the plan, tens of thousands of Orthodox Jews will arm themselves with guns capable of spraying liquid pig lard at suspects." [How long before some imams declare an exception to the pork problem for those who die during suicide bombings?] Read article... North Koreans allegedly test chemical weapons on prisoners CNN | Submitted by: Tryptamine Dreamer "Human rights campaigners say they have obtained documented evidence that North Korea tests chemical weapons on prisoners. Kim Sang Hun, a South Korean activist, told reporters in London Wednesday that a North Korean defector saw evidence of human experiments and stole papers documenting the tests... prisoner Rim Chun-hwa was taken from a government holding center to the factory 'for the purpose of human experimentation of liquid gas of chemical weapon.' ... In a recent BBC report, a man claiming to be a former North Korean agent described seeing prisoners gassed to death." Read article... Teachers dosed with pot-laced chocolate cake Australian Broadcasting | Submitted by: Sly "Ten German school teachers were taken to hospital after eating part of a chocolate cake left as an anonymous gift that turned out to be baked with marijuana, a city spokesman said. The teachers in the northern city of Lueneburg complained of jitters, nausea and hallucinations after consuming part of the 'space cake' and were treated and released late on Wednesday... Police said they were investigating on charges of grievous bodily harm and drug possession." [Bodily harm?] Read article... British pathologists think Dr. Kelly was murdered Guardian | Submitted by: A. P. Palled "We all agree that it is highly improbable that the primary cause of Dr Kelly's death was haemorrhage from transection of a single ulnar artery, as stated by Brian Hutton in his report... Our criticism of the Hutton report is that its verdict of 'suicide' is an inappropriate finding... We believe the verdict given is in contradiction to medical teaching; is at variance with documented cases of wrist-slash suicides; and does not align itself with the evidence presented at the inquiry. We call for the reopening of the inquest by the coroner, where a jury may be called and evidence taken on oath." Read article... Fake hitman arrested in South Korea CNN | Submitted by: Nekura "Police arrested a 25-year-old college senior Wednesday on charges of conspiring to murder for operating a killer-for-hire Web site and taking thousands of dollars from his customers. In one case, the student, identified only by his surname Kim, received the equivalent of $8,600 from a 22-year-old woman who wanted her ex-boyfriend and his wife murdered, said Chung Dong-yul, a police investigator in the city of Daegu. Kim had promised the woman, identified only as Jeong, he would have the two killed in a staged traffic accident... Other requests made to Kim's online service ranged from changing grades to rape and gun smuggling." Read article... Triumph the Insult Comic enrages the Quebecois Canada.com | Submitted by: Veggie "A TV comedy sketch in which a snarky puppet took potshots at French Canadians was called racist and unfunny by some federal politicians Friday while the visiting American TV host who ignited the controversy acknowledged the trouble the comments have caused... The NBC show [Late Night With Conan O'Brien] came to Toronto this week with the help of $1 million in taxpayers' money, some from the province of Ontario, some from a federal fund set up to help Toronto's tourist industry recover from SARS... on the Thursday show, Late Night regular Triumph - a cigar-chomping, politically incorrect puppet - was dispatched to the Quebec winter carnival in a pre-taped segment that took on Quebecers in general and separatists in particular. 'So you're French and Canadian, yes? So you're obnoxious and dull,' the puppet told one passerby. 'You're in North America, learn the language,' he hollered at another." Read article... Dick Cheney's amnesia about Halliburton New Yorker | Submitted by: jo666py "Vice-President Dick Cheney is well known for his discretion, but his official White House biography, as posted on his Web site, may exceed even his own stringent standards. It traces the sixty-three years fro his birth, in Lincoln, Nebraska, in 1941, through college and graduate school, and describes his increasingly powerful jobs in Washington. Yet one chapter of Cheney's life is missing. The record notes that he has been a 'businessman' but fails to mention the five extraordinarily lucrative years that he spent immediately before becoming Vice-President, as chief executive of Halliburton, the world’s largest oil-and-gas-services company. The conglomerate, which is based in Houston, is now the biggest private contractor for American forces in Iraq; it has received contracts worth some eleven billion dollars for its work there." Read article... The wellspring of those Iraq WMD lies Mother Jones | Submitted by: A. P. Palled "In the very first meeting of the Bush national-security team, one day after President Bush took the oath of office in January 2001, the issue of invading Iraq was raised, according to one of the participants in the meeting - and officials all the way down the line started to get the message, long before 9/11. Indeed, the Bush team at the Pentagon hadn't even been formally installed before Paul Wolfowitz, the deputy secretary of Defense, and Douglas J. Feith, undersecretary of Defense for policy, began putting together what would become the vanguard for regime change in Iraq... While the CIA and other intelligence agencies concentrated on Osama bin Laden's Al Qaeda as the culprit in the 9/11 attacks, Wolfowitz and Feith obsessively focused on Iraq. It was a theory that was discredited, even ridiculed, among intelligence professionals... 'People were being pulled aside [and being told], "We saw your last piece and it's not what we're looking for,"' he says. 'It was pretty blatant.' Two State Department intelligence officials, Greg Thielmann and Christian Westermann, have both charged that pressure was being put on them to shape intelligence to fit policy, in particular from Bolton's office... Besides Cheney, key members of the Pentagon's Defense Policy Board, including Perle and ex-House Speaker Newt Gingrich, all Iraq hawks, had direct input into NESA/OSP." Read article... 10,000 Iraqi civilians killed so far Iraq Body Count | Submitted by: Tryptamine Dreamer "As many as 10,000 non-combatant civilian deaths during 2003 have been reliably reported so far as a result of the US/UK-led invasion and occupation of Iraq. These reports provide figures which range between a minimum of 8,235 and a maximum of 10,079 as of Saturday 7th February 2004... Pushing the total past the 10,000 mark were recent reports of Iraqi policemen killed since Saddam's fall in April... Of the maximum total recorded on the IBC web site today of 10,079, a maximum of 7,356 were deaths in the invasion phase up to and including May 1st, the day on which President Bush declared 'major combat' over. The remaining deaths have occurred under the occupation, with the largest proportion of these derived from records held by the Baghdad morgue up to the end of September." Read article... Dubya's national guard comrades don't remember him Memphis Flyer | Submitted by: Phil T. Rotten Scoundrel "Two members of the Air National Guard unit that President George W. Bush allegedly served with as a young Guard flyer in 1972 had been told to expect him and were on the lookout for him. He never showed, however; of that both Bob Mintz and Paul Bishop are certain... 'There's no way we wouldn't have noticed a strange rooster in the henhouse, especially since we were looking for him,' insists Mintz... Though some accounts reckon the total personnel component of the 187th as consisting of several hundred, the actual flying squadron – that to which Bush was reassigned – numbered only '25 to 30 pilots,' Mintz said. 'There's no doubt. I would have heard of him, seen him, whatever.' Even if Bush, who was trained on a slightly different aircraft than the F4 Phantom jets flown by the squadron, opted not to fly with the unit, he would have had to encounter the rest of the flying personnel at some point, in non-flying formations or drills. 'And if he did any flying at all, on whatever kind of craft, that would have involved a great number of supportive personnel. It takes a lot of people to get a plane into the air. But nobody I can think of remembers him. I talked to one of my buddies the other day and asked if he could remember Bush at drill at any time, and he said, "Naw, ol' George wasn't there."'" Read article... Russia's Ross Perot presumably assfucked on film London Telegraph | Submitted by: Spigot "A fierce critic of President Vladimir Putin who vanished for several days claimed yesterday that he was kidnapped, drugged and filmed in a 'revolting' video designed to compromise him. Ivan Rybkin, who is standing in the presidential election next month, said in London his life was in danger and he would conduct the rest of his campaign by video link and television advertisements. Mr Rybkin was reported missing by his wife last week but he reappeared five days later in Kiev and flew back to Moscow. At first he said he had gone away to escape the constant attentions of the Russian secret service and announced a week-long break from the campaign. But yesterday he said he was lured away from Moscow on what he thought was a secret mission to meet Aslan Maskhadov, the Chechen rebel leader... 'It was a plan to compromise me and force me to be co-operative.' Mr Rybkin said the video was made by 'perverts.'" Read article... Yet more electronic voting insanity South Florida Sun-Sentinel | Submitted by: Reid Fleming "The Department of State has notified elections supervisors that touchscreen ballots don't have to be included during manual recounts because there is no question about how voters intended to vote... Florida law requires a manual recount of overvotes where too many candidates were chosen, and undervotes where no candidate was chosen in elections where the margin of victory is one-quarter of one percent of the vote... 'There are no ballots to count, there are no ballots to recount,' [Pasco County Supervisor of Elections Kurt Browning] said. The opinion was issued the day after a Palm Beach County judge threw out a lawsuit filed by Democratic U.S. Rep. Robert Wexler that sought to require electronic voting machines produce a paper record of ballots cast." [The Florida electorate is truly fucked.] Read article...