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Daily Rotten Archives
April 4, 2005
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Iraq WMD reports furnished by drunken, crazed liar
London Observer | Submitted by: ISAAC FOR POPE
"An alcoholic cousin of an aide to Ahmed Chalabi has emerged as the key source in the US rationale for going to war in Iraq. According to a US presidential commission looking into pre-war intelligence failures, the basis for pivotal intelligence on Iraq's alleged biological weapons programmes and fleet of mobile labs was a spy described as 'crazy' by his intelligence handlers and a 'congenital liar' by his friends. The defector, given the code-name Curveball by the CIA... offered 100 reports, among them the claims of mobile biological weapons labs that were central in the US evidence of an illicit weapons programme, but subsequently turned out to be trucks equipped with machinery to make helium for weather balloons."

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Man allegedly steals car, kidnaps dealer
Santa Cruz Sentinel | Submitted by: optional
"A test drive of a 2005 Grand Prix took a criminal turn Saturday when the driver tried to take the salesman to Nevada, and then threatened to shoot him and stuff him in the trunk, deputies reported. The test driver, Corbyn Mitchell, 24, also stole the wallet of the stunned 23-year-old salesman, but was nabbed after using his credit card in Watsonville and after the satellite tracking system located the car, deputies said. The salesman leapt from the moving car after the death threat... The car was traveling about 60 mph, they reported."

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Motorist smothered by crappy car
Indianapolis Star | Submitted by: JeromeZ
"An autopsy performed Sunday on a 36-year-old Westside woman confirmed that she died of asphyxia after being run over by her car. Authorities said Audrey L. Duncan, 1400 block of South Kiel Avenue, had crawled under the front of her parked 1993 Chrysler LeBaron to fix a malfunction. But the car, which was in gear, rolled, pinning her head under the right front tire on the passenger side of the vehicle... Witnesses said she often crawled under the car with wrench or hammer and physically hit the starter to get it working."

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Teacher-on-teacher violence
KXAS-TV 5 Dallas | Submitted by: Lucu Bration
"A Dallas high school teacher is facing an assault charge after she allegedly attacked another teacher in front of a classroom of students. Police said Paulette Baines assaulted her daughter's teacher inside a middle school classroom. Baines allegedly grabbed the woman's hair, yanked her out of a chair and dragged her across the room while punching and kicking her. That teacher suffered a concussion, two broken ribs and several bruises on her face. Investigators said Baines was angry at the teacher because the woman allegedly reprimanded her daughter - asking the girl and several other students to stop loitering at their lockers."

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School employee allegedly fucks student
Indianapolis Star | Submitted by: The Good Doctor
"A home-school liaison has been fired after an 'inappropriate and suspicious' relationship with a 17-year-old male Ben Davis High School student, officials said today. Desiree Lawrence, the liaison, was fired last Thursday... The agency released a police report dated March 13 that contains information that CPS both 'alleged and affirmed sexual misconduct involving the victim and a counselor.'"

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Cable guy allegedly commits sex crime
KSTP-TV 5 Minneapolis | Submitted by: optional
"A Comcast cable employee has been charged with second-degree criminal sexual conduct after allegedly sexually assaulting a St. Paul woman when he was at her apartment to install cable. Ryan Robert Alvarez, 24, went a St. Paul woman's apartment on March 14 and allegedly began massaging her shoulders and told her to 'cooperate' or he would 'harm' her... The charges stated that Alvarez then grabbed her and told her to show him her bedroom, where he immediately removed his clothes, sat on the bed and began masturbating again. The female told investigators that she began masturbating him until he ejaculated and then he told her to get a towel to clean it up."

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Cell phone bargain hunters riot
BBC | Submitted by: monkeybag
"Police in Bangladesh have baton charged mobile phone bargain hunters after application forms for a cut-price deal ran out. Thousands had queued in the capital, Dhaka, to take advantage of the offer from state-owned Teletalk Bangladesh. When the forms ran out, crowds who had braved heat, rain and a nationwide strike vented their anger... Policeman Shahid Chowdhury said: 'We had to baton charge the crowd otherwise there would have been a stampede in front of the gates.'"

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World's oldest pornography unearthed
Guardian | Submitted by: Democracy is Dead
"Stone-age figurines depicting what could be the oldest pornographic scene in the world have been unearthed in Germany. Archaeologists have discovered what they believe to be the 7,200-year-old remnants of a man having intercourse with a woman... Until now, the oldest representations of sexual scenes were frescos from about 2,000 years ago... Until now, there have been discoveries of clay models of women with large breasts and bottoms, which have always been interpreted as connected with fertility. But Adonis was the first figurine that clearly depicted male sexual organs."

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Volunteer wetnurses tiger cubs
London Telegraph | Submitted by: Bawdymonkey
"A Burmese woman is breastfeeding two tiger cubs at a zoo in Rangoon after they were removed from their aggressive mother. Hla Htay, 40, who has three children, the youngest seven months old, offered her services after the Bengal tiger cubs' mother, Noah Noah, killed the third member of her litter. The two others, a male and a female, were taken from her and now receive bottle feeds as well as Hla Htay's milk four times a day."

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Woman drinks duck blood, contracts bird flu
Wire Services | Submitted by: Snarly
"A 27-year-old Vietnamese woman who drank duck blood has the bird flu virus, which has killed 49 people in Asia, but is likely to survive, the official Vietnam News Agency reported on Monday. The woman tested positive for the H5N1 poultry virus after being taken to hospital with high fever on Friday in the central province of Ha Tinh, the agency's Tin Tuc daily said... The virus, which has also killed 12 Thais and two Cambodians, does not pass easily from bird to humans and eating infected fowl cooked properly is not dangerous."

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