Daily Rotten Archives February 2, 2009 2001 | 2002 | 2003 | 2004 | 2005 | 2006 | 2007 | 2008 | 2009 Sasquatch Smuggles Pigeons in Underwear News Corporation | Submitted by: foetus "[Customs inspectors] allegedly found in the man's pocket a multi-vitamin container holding two birds eggs, and a further search revealed he was wearing tights with the two live birds stuffed inside, one in each leg." Includes excellent photo. Read article... Comments (698) Gold Medalist of Bonghits Boston Herald | Submitted by: k0unt narqula "Phelps was asked if he wanted to smoke marijuana. He said yes and was then led to a back room. "He looked just as natural with a bong in his hand as he does swimming in the pool," one witness said. "He was the gold medalist of bong hits."... Phelps is on track to earn approximately $100M from endorsements and he's already signed deals with Speedo, Visa, Frosted Flakes cereal and the video game Guitar Hero." Read article... Comments (66) Mummy Don't Daily Mail | Submitted by: StranglyPubes "A mother murdered her only child after being told by her boyfriend: It's her or me. Penny Boudreau strangled 12-year-old daughter Karissa after Vernon MacCumber threatened to end their affair because he did not get on with the girl. Boudreau drove her daughter to a deserted wooded area, knocked her to the ground and strangled her, a Canadian court heard." Read article... Comments (43) Turd Burglar 1: The Fecal Staircase Times Herald | Submitted by: athenstexman "Green was implicated by burglary suspect, Stephan Bates, who told Norristown police in October 2007 that Green had broken into a house on Haws Avenue in a month earlier, and during the burglary, he defecated on the stairs. Bates said the defendant admitted three other burglaries at the time." Read article... Comments (13) Turd Burglar 2: The Missing Coprolite London Telegraph | Submitted by: vlad "The three-inch piece of fossilised dinosaur dung, or coprolite as they are known, was stolen while it was secured on display in a clamp in 2006. It is believed to have come from a plant-eating dinosaur known as titanosaurus, which grew to more than 30 feet in length and weighed about 13 tons. Police were informed of the theft but no further action was taken." Read article... Comments (18) Bunnies From Feces Green Muse | Submitted by: athenstexman "American artist Susan Bell has found an innovative way to recycle her horse’s feces into garden art. Using recycled manure and hay -- she creates dung sculptures for the garden that are also great compost for your roses. We caught up with Susan to ask her where she got her fecal inspiration and how can we get one of her super cool dung bunnies." Read article... Comments (18) Japanese Shitting Gold Wire Services | Submitted by: Colonel-General Todger, Nanking Rape Squdron 54 "A sewage treatment facility in central Japan has recorded a higher gold yield from sludge than can be found at some of the world's best mines... That is a far higher gold content than Japan's Hishikari Mine, one of the world's top gold mines, owned by Sumitomo Metal Mining Co Ltd, which contains 20-40 grammes of the precious metal per tonne of ore." Read article... Comments (24) Body Orifice Security Scanners London Telegraph | Submitted by: ArsePubes "The £6,500 chairs are being put in 102 jails across Britain aimed to tackle a surge in phone smuggling. Prisoners will have to sit on the chairs, called Body Orifice Security Scanners (BOSS), which bleep if they have a phone hidden inside them... So far two of the Boss devices have helped detect 21 mobile phones in just months at Woodhill prison, in Milton Keynes." Read article... Comments (27) Bought UK Lords Face Ouster Times | Submitted by: hieronymous busch "Our inquiries have established that other peers are routinely attempting to change legislation that would favour companies and organisations which pay them... Last week it was disclosed that Taylor, a former education adviser to Downing Street, Snape, a former whip and Truscott and Lord Moonie, former ministers, were secretly recorded telling undercover reporters posing as lobbyists that they could assist them in changing a law. They discussed fees of between £24,000 and £120,000." Read article... Comments (10) Revenues Down? Disney Turns To Teen Sluttage Los Angeles Times | Submitted by: Uncle Walt, (informing on you !) "But Secret Life has become ABC Family's biggest hit and one of the most popular shows on cable, drawing an average 3.8 million viewers an episode. With depictions of teens rolling out of bed, a father peppering his daughters with questions about their sex lives at the dinner table, and a troubled boy revealing that he had been molested by his father, Secret Life represents a coming of age for a channel founded by evangelist Pat Robertson to spread the Gospel." Read article... Comments (24) The Battle of Wallachia New York Times | Submitted by: Veggie "The political dispute stretches back to Mr. Harabis’s decision in 1997 to crown Bolek Polivka, a classically trained clown and famous Czech actor, as king of Wallachia. At the time, Mr. Polivka seemed an ideal choice: he had already crowned himself by a somewhat different title, Wallachian King, Boleslav I the Gracious Forever, on his popular television show." Read article... Comments (5) Reach Out And SWAT Someone Yahoo! Tech | Submitted by: furpo "They were victims of a new kind of telephone fraud that exploits a weakness in the way the 911 system handles calls from Internet-based phone services. The attacks -- called swatting because armed police SWAT teams usually respond — are virtually unstoppable, and an Associated Press investigation found that budget-strapped 911 centers are essentially defenseless without an overhaul of their computer systems." Read article... Comments (24) Superbowl: Comcast Gives Good Head KVOA-TV 4 Tucson | Submitted by: apolicious "We are mortified by last evening's Super Bowl interruption and we apologize to our customers. Our initial investigation suggests this was an isolated malicious act. We are conducting a thorough investigation to determine how this happened... We are appalled by last evening's Super Bowl interruption. The Super Bowl is a family-viewing event, and last night was even more special here in Arizona as we were all cheering for the Cardinals." Read article... Comments (18) Cow Struck By Lightning, Lives To Tell About It Cairns Post | Submitted by: anonymous "Cows are susceptible to lightning strikes because of both sets of legs being on the ground, and they're eating grass from where electricity is conducted from the strike so it is possible it happened but, more often than not, cows die from it... The electricity from a lightning strike would enter the front set of legs and exit out the back legs so, again, based on the picture, it is possible it happened." Read article... Comments (24) Inmate Escape Most Comical Canoe | Submitted by: Mikeisgreen "Two New Zealand prisoners who were handcuffed together as they fled a courthouse foiled their own getaway when they ran to opposite sides of a light pole, slammed into each other and fell to the ground." Read article... Comments (11) Italy Defrauds Motorists With Bogus Tickets BBC | Submitted by: Waste 'Em All�God'll Sort 'Em Out "Thousands of drivers in Italy are expected to seek compensation after it was revealed that a system to catch them jumping red lights was rigged. It is believed that more than a million drivers were fraudently cited. More than 100 people, including police officers, are being investigated as part of the fraud." Read article... Comments (7) Bad Cop, No Donut News Corporation | Submitted by: WiggumPubes "A Brisbane police officer got into a holey row with Krispy Kreme staff, demanding to be served free doughnuts... I couldn't believe what I was seeing, a witness said. He was quite rude, insisting his doughnuts should be free. He was so greedy for the doughnuts. I thought, you swine, get your money out and pay for them like everyone else." Read article... Comments (16) Immortal Jellyfish Swarm World's Oceans National Geographic | Submitted by: anonymous "But when starvation, physical damage, or other crises arise, "instead of sure death, [Turritopsis] transforms all of its existing cells into a younger state," said study author Maria Pia Miglietta, a researcher at Pennsylvania State University. The jellyfish turns itself into a bloblike cyst, which then develops into a polyp colony, essentially the first stage in jellyfish life." Read article... Comments (11) Fed Refuses To Say Where Our $2T Went Bloomberg | Submitted by: Flag Hag "Last fall, the Federal Reserve declined to identify the recipients of about $2 trillion in emergency loans from U.S. taxpayers or the assets the central bank is accepting as collateral... Bloomberg News asked for details of the lending on May 21 and filed a federal lawsuit against the Fed Nov. 7 seeking to force disclosure. The loans were made under the terms of what became 11 programs in the midst of the biggest financial crisis since the Great Depression." This money is above and beyond what Congress allocated. Read article... Comments (33)