Daily Rotten Archives March 9, 2009 2001 | 2002 | 2003 | 2004 | 2005 | 2006 | 2007 | 2008 | 2009 | 2010 | 2011 | 2012 I Laugh At Your Beard Daily Mail | Submitted by: HairyPubes "A Muslim police officer claims he was forced out of his job by colleagues who made fun of his beard and called him a fucking Paki.... Mr Iqbal, who was born and raised in Stevenage, Hertfordshire, told the Daily Mail: My beard is an important part of my identity which helps other Muslims relate to me." With picture of his laughably fantabulous beard. Read article... Comments (659) US Nuke Bureau Forgets How Bomb Works Scotland Sunday Herald | Submitted by: Veggie "The US National Nuclear Security Administration lost knowledge of how to make a mysterious but very hazardous material codenamed Fogbank. As a result, the warhead refurbishment programme was put back by at least a year, and racked up an extra $69M... Neither the NNSA nor the UK Ministry of Defence would say anything about the nature or function of Fogbank. But it is thought by some weapons experts to be a foam used between the fission and fusion stages of a thermonuclear bomb." Read article... Comments (40) Chimp Demonstrates It Can Make Plans, Reaps Whirlwind Wire Services | Submitted by: Tony Krikoriantz "A canny chimpanzee who calmly collected a stash of rocks and then hurled them at zoo visitors in fits of rage has confirmed that apes can plan ahead just like humans, a Swedish study said Monday. Santino the chimpanzee's anti-social behavior stunned both visitors and keepers at the Furuvik Zoo but fascinated researchers because it was so carefully prepared." Scientists rewarded his demonstration with castration. Read article... Comments (40) Rapist Asks for Death, Fears Rape in Prison Seattle Post-Intelligencer | Submitted by: anonymous "Speaking in King County Superior Court, Galvan-Hernandez pleaded with Judge Julie Spector to have him executed rather than send him to prison. In a turn characterized by Spector, without humor, as ironic, Galvan-Hernandez begged not to be sent to prison where he believes he will be raped." Read article... Comments (33) DNA Evidence Rules Out Baby As Suspect BBC | Submitted by: Vomit "The home secretary said the youngest person to have a DNA profile held on the database was less than a year old and the oldest was over 90. It is understood the sample would have been taken to eliminate the baby's DNA from a crime scene... He said: It is illegal, immoral and ineffective to keep the DNA of a baby on a national police database as if they had committed some felony." Read article... Comments (13) Boom Times At The Mexican Morgue Tucson Citizen | Submitted by: athenstexman "Bodies stacked in the morgues of Mexico's border cities tell the story of an escalating drug war. Drug violence claimed 6,290 lives last year, double the previous year, and more than 1,000 in the first eight weeks of 2009... Workers toil up to 12 hours per day, sometimes seven days a week, to examine the remains. When Tijuana coffin makers fell behind during the December holidays, the morgue there crammed 200 bodies into two refrigerators made to hold 80." Read article... Comments (20) Forty Lashes For Mingling Wire Services | Submitted by: DonkeyHotey "A 75-year-old widow in Saudi Arabia has been sentenced to 40 lashes and four months in jail for mingling with two young men who are not close relatives, drawing new criticism for the kingdom's ultraconservative religious police and judiciary." Read article... Comments (31) Martha Stewart's Puppy Destroyed in Explosion NY Daily News | Submitted by: rosann rosana-dana "A Chow Chow puppy belonging to Martha Stewart was one of 17 dogs to die of injuries sustained in a freak propane explosion at a Pennsylvania kennel... Fifteen dogs were killed in the explosion -- including Stewart's puppy Ghengis Khan -- and two more died over the weekend, according a post on her blog." Read article... Comments (29) Death Becomes Her: Cadaver Babes Boston Phoenix | Submitted by: Asobi "Peterson sports black hipster glasses with tiny rhinestone butterflies on the rims. Byles resembles a healthy Lindsay Lohan with spindly eyelashes.... It's incongruous to imagine their manicured hands expertly slitting a corpse's neck, fishing around under flesh and sinew with sinister-looking hooks for the carotid artery, exposed muscle tissue looking as plump and juicy as pre-packaged raw chicken breasts." Read article... Comments (20) Who Is Blackmailing the Rich Ladies of Europe? London Telegraph | Submitted by: Uncle Walter's sack "The 44-year-old wined and dined a string of rich wives and widows, including Germany's wealthiest woman Mrs Klatten, winning their confidence and then asking for money... If they refused, he threatened to blackmail them with secretly filmed footage of their encounters in hotel rooms around Europe... Sgarbi's most high profile victim was BMW heiress Mrs Klatten, a married mother of three who he seduced and swindled out of £6.2 million." Read article... Comments (11) Her Name is Marijuana Pepsi Jackson Chicago Sun-Times | Submitted by: FRAUDZILLA "Sawyer’s mother, Maggie Johnson, picked her name. Her father objected but lost the argument. To this day, a lot of family members and best buds call her Pepsi... Sawyer’s aunt, Mayetta Jackson of Chicago, clearly remembers when the name was picked in 1972. The newborn's mother and father were products of the post-Woodstock era when reefer was rampant." Read article... Comments (24) Homosexual Ducks Imperil Species Daily Mail | Submitted by: BluePubes "Because this pair of birds represents two-thirds of the entire population of blue ducks remaining in the UK. And they both happen to be male. Flying in the face of what was billed as the last chance of keeping the species in this country, the two male ducks have completely ignored their female companion, Cherry." Read article... Comments (53)