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Daily Rotten Archives
June 24, 2009
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Mensa Ties Spark Bumfight
San Francisco Chronicle | Submitted by: Chief Bum
"A homeless man is on trial on charges that he smacked a fellow transient in the face with a skateboard as the victim was engaged in a conversation about quantum physics... Keller joined in the conversation and, for reasons unknown, got upset, authorities said. He picked up his skateboard and hit Fava in the face with it, splitting his lip, prosecutors said."

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Comments (28)

Plaintiff Charged In Acid Attack
Daily Mail | Submitted by: Pubesinnit.
"A furious litigant hurled hydrochloric acid over three lawyers after a High Court ruling went against him... He sprayed the acid at them "quite few times to make sure he got us. The liquid rained around us and was all up my right leg and over my right arm." Fumes filled the court, leaving staff struggling for breath and forcing the judge to flee.""

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Comments (19)

Liberian Warlord Goes Commando
London Telegraph | Submitted by: anonymous
"A former warlord known as General Butt Naked has confessed to Liberia's post-conflict reconciliation commission that his men killed 20,000 people during the country's civil war... The nude gunmen became known for terrorising villagers and sacrificing children whose hearts they would eat before going into battle during Liberia's 14-year on-off civil war which ended in 2003."

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Comments (33)

Duck Soup Made From Cranial Broth
London Telegraph | Submitted by: PubeWindsor
"Lin Zongxiu, from the southwestern province of Sichuan, heard in 2008 that soup made with a manís head could help cure her daughter who had suffered from psychiatric problems for years... Lin and her husband decided to enlist the help of a man in December who knocked unconscious a drunk 76-year-old passer-by before beheading him. The couple then gave their 25-year-old daughter soup made from the man's head, and duck."

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Comments (20)

Perplexing 16yo Retains Form of Toddler
ABC News | Submitted by: furpo
"In a recent paper for the journal "Mechanisms of Ageing and Development," Walker and his co-authors chronicled a baffling range of inconsistencies in Brooke's aging process. She still has baby teeth at 16, for instance. And her bone age is estimated to be more like 10 years old. Brooke's hair and her nails are the only two things that grow... "My system always has been to turn years into months," Greenberg said. "So, if someone asked today, I might say, she's 16 months old."

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Comments (29)

US Military Drones Reach High Score
BBC | Submitted by: anonymous
Drone kills 43 at funeral for victims of US drones: "Three missiles were fired by drones as people were dispersing after offering funeral prayers for a militant commander... The US military does not routinely confirm drone attacks but the armed forces and the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) operating in Afghanistan are believed to be the only forces capable of deploying drones in the region."

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Comments (25)

Cash-Strapped Elderlies Kidnap Banker
Daily Mail | Submitted by: GerontoPubes
"A gang of wealthy pensioners kidnapped and tortured a financial adviser in Germany after he lost £2m of their savings during the financial crisis. "They bound me with masking tape until I looked like a mummy. It took them quite a while because they ran out of breath."... The Swiss bank telephoned police in Germany and an armed team of special SEK commandos was scrambled and the house was stormed in the early hours of Saturday morning."

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Comments (11)

Stoned Wallabies Cause Poppy Crop Circles
News Corporation | Submitted by: tetheredgoat(se)
"The strange occurrence that was revealed in a State Government Budget Estimates hearing, has also solved what some growers say has spurred a campfire legend about mysterious crop circles that appear in northern Tasmania's poppy paddocks. The drugged out wallabies had been found hopping around in circles squashing the poppies, creating the formations... Tasmania is the world's largest producer of legally grown opium for the pharmaceutical market."

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Comments (16)

Prehistoric Spaniards Cannibalized Young
London Telegraph | Submitted by: MunchyPubes
"A study of the prehistoric remains has revealed that human flesh formed part of the diet of early man and children and adolescents in particular were regularly killed and eaten... "They did not practice cannibalism through a lack of food," explained Dr de Castro. "They killed their rivals and used the meat. This gives us an idea of cannibalism as a type of gastronomy, and not as a ritual."

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Comments (15)

Update: Starface Comes Clean About Tattoo
London Telegraph | Submitted by: Fuck Duder
"The 18-year-old has finally confessed she did not fall asleep, that she wanted all the stars and was "fully aware" of what Mr Toumaniantz was doing... Ms Vlaminck told a Dutch TV crew: "I asked for 56 stars and initially adored them. But when my father saw them, he was furious. So I said I fell asleep and the that the tattooist made a mistake."

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Comments (31)

Dead Sea Coast Swallowing Tourists
Wire Services | Submitted by: UGGH
Exploitation of Israel's precious mineral resources has forced the Dead Sea to recede several kilometers over the last decade. Dried-up aquifers have left pockets in the soil, creating a coastal landscape of mud and sinkholes, which yawn open unexpectedly when disturbed by the tread of unwitting tourists.

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Comments (14)

Secrets for Sale in Ghanan Charnel Pit
Canadian Broadcasting | Submitted by: Goby
It's essentially this charred toxic wasteland," Sifton recalled Tuesday. "The ground is just scorched absolutely everywhere. Everywhere you walk, there's shards of plastic and metal and glass protruding from the ground... There, UBC graduate students purchased a drive containing information related to contracts between the Pentagon, the Department of Homeland Security and the military contractor Northrop Grumman. The hard drive cost just $40. "We plugged them in and started reading files... They were just sitting there."

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Comments (13)

Argentine Firecracker Lures Missing Governor
Washington Post | Submitted by: Fuck Duder
"Gov. Sanford should not have told staffers he was hiking the Appalachian Trail when he was actually in Argentina for seven days. His spokesman repeated the lie to reporters, leading to several days of confusion over his whereabouts... "First of all he's a Republican golden boy and he's a strict, staunch conservative. I'm so shocked. It was something I did not expect."

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Comments (29)

Teenaged Hoarder Builds Bedroom Aviary
Longmont Times-Call | Submitted by: merrillvillain
"The nestlings were among 13 survivors of a group of 53 baby birds confiscated from a 15-year-old Longmont boy's bedroom on June 16... He and some other children in the neighborhood had been trying to feed them with little success. We believe he raided several nests in the neighborhood... The birds included an assortment of barn swallows and sparrows, along with a baby bluebird."

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Comments (369)


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