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Daily Rotten Archives
August 17, 2011
2001 | 2002 | 2003 | 2004 | 2005 | 2006 | 2007 | 2008 | 2009 | 2010 | 2011 | 2012

Shark Gobbles Honeymooner
Daily Mail | Submitted by: Eugene
"Not even two weeks into their honeymoon in the Seychelles, Mr Redmond, 30, was snorkelling just 30ft off Anse Lazio beach on the island of Praslin when the 6ft shark struck... An inflatable dinghy raced to his aid... "I saw the swimmer, who was missing a huge chunk of flesh from his left leg, so much so that I could see the bone of his thigh. He was sickeningly pale, but still had his flippers on both feet... At this point a woman ran over and started screaming "That's mah husband!"

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Comments (18)

Summer Camp Suicide Club
Wire Services | Submitted by: Hubito Machogrande
"The three teenaged girls came from different parts of Germany... They were found Monday night in a tent in dense woods 500 metres from the nearest road near the northern city of Cloppenburg. Disposable barbecues had filled the tent with carbon monoxide."

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Comments (25)

Last Chance To Beat The Heat
St. Louis Today | Submitted by: lord redpubes
"Morgan admitted that he found an errant child playing on a ladder in his backyard swimming pool, grabbed her and carried her inside his home, where he suffocated her with a white plastic trash bag... It "felt like it took an hour for the girl to die"... He put the child's body in the same trash bag he used to kill her, drove to the floodway and threw the bag over a railing into a ditch. Then he went home and dismantled the girl's bike and training wheels, which he dumped in the same area."

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Comments (32)

Hansel and Gretel 2011
Daily Mail | Submitted by: Jonathan
"The two men were sent into the oven just two hours after it had been baking bread at 260c and managers decided they could go in through the entrance hatch to avoid the cost of removing side panels... "Within five minutes they were relaying terrified messages over their walkie-talkies, saying the oven was too hot. There was no way of reversing the belt and they were trapped on its journey through the oven."

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Comments (35)

Beach Blanket Buried Alive
San Francisco Chronicle | Submitted by: epsas
"Mina, 17, was visiting his aunt and uncle and was spending the day in Newport Beach with his older cousin and other friends when he decided to dig a 6-foot pit and a trench that branched off to the side. The sand on the sides of the trench collapsed on him suddenly while the others in his group were nearby playing bocce ball... His cousin went to tell him two pretty girls had arrived at the beach and wanted to hang out with them. He saw the sand was flat where the trench had been just moments before -- and there was no sign of his cousin."

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Comments (17)

Fat Americans Choking Down Terrible Food
Daily Beast etc | Submitted by: Veggie
"He may not have been on the ballot in Iowa, but that didn’t stop Rick Perry from also sampling a corn dog at the state fair... Perhaps Michele Bachmann's Newsweek cover photograph wasn’t so bad after all." etc etc

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Comments (25)

Get Down From There And Eat Another Burger
MSN | Submitted by: Veggie
"We've had a couple of times when we've made some progress with him and then the crowd will start yelling and screaming things, it will distract him, and we'll regress and go 12 hours back in time with the progression that we've made with him." After six days of coaxing and negotiation, Sturdivant agreed to climb into the genie and be whisked from his perch on the communications tower, back down to the surface of planet Earth. Sturdivant asked for a Whataburger meal and some Oreos and milk Tuesday morning."

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Comments (13)

Ole Ole Ole Ole
The Local DE | Submitted by: anonymous
"Bundesliga matches took bizarre and unappetising turns at the weekend, with a Hoffenheim employee blasting Borussia supporters with a high-pitched siren -- and Cologne fans showering their Schalke rivals with faeces and urine... The police confirmed on Tuesday that at least one person in the Köln fan block had been seen "placing" faeces into a plastic beer glass and then throwing it at his rivals. The solid organic missile was followed by at least two urine-filled plastic beer glasses."

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Comments (9)

Capybara Arrive To Steal Desirable Shitwork
Scientific American | Submitted by: torchstar
"Kamp, who works at a water treatment plant in Paso Robles, Calif., was near a solid-waste pond when he spotted something emerging from the murky water. He quickly snapped a few photos of what turned out to be a capybara, the world's largest rodent, before it slipped back into the water and swam away... The semiaquatic mammals are native to South American marshlands and swamps, but this sighting in central California was not the first. Three years ago, a capybara sighting at a nearby golf course was dismissed as a probable beaver misidentification."

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Comments (12)

Vampire's Affliction
New York Daily News | Submitted by: scarred 4 life
"I'm a vampire, and I've been alive for over 500 years." Cops who responded to the scene at around 7 a.m. found the gothic goon screaming and growling in the building's parking lot clad only in boxer shorts and arrested him... "He was begging us to restrain him because he didn't want to kill us," Officer Erickson said. "He said he needed to feed."

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Comments (13)

Real Widows 90210
Tulsa World | Submitted by: spooz
"The estranged husband of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star and former Tulsan Taylor Armstrong reportedly committed suicide, perhaps because "his credit cards weren't working", and was found Monday at a friend’s home on Mulholland Drive... "All of us at Bravo are deeply, deeply saddened by this tragic, tragic news."

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Comments (13)

Heard There's Gonna Be A Riot Yeh?!
Guardian | Submitted by: DM
"User A set up a Facebook event called Smash Down in Northwich Town for the night of 8 August, but no one apart from the police, who were monitoring the page, turned up at the pre-arranged meeting point outside a McDonalds... User B drunkenly used his Facebook account in the early hours of 9 August to design a web page entitled ~The Warrington Riots~ which was only seen by his mere 400 friends... The judge praised Cheshire police for their "modern and clever policy" of infiltrating the website as he sentenced both of the young men to four years in prison."

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Comments (11)

Er Maybe A Water Gun Fight Instead?
Guardian | Submitted by: spooz
"A man will appear before magistrates next month for allegedly trying to organise a mass water fight via his mobile phone... The 20-year-old from Colchester was arrested on Friday after Essex police discovered the alleged plans circulating on the BlackBerry Messenger service and Facebook. The unnamed man has been charged with "encouraging or assisting in the commission of an offence" under the 2007 Serious Crime Act."

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Comments (7)

Strapped To The Crapper
Australian Broadcasting | Submitted by: JJ
"A Victorian coroner has called for better education for aged care staff after an 89-year-old woman died while strapped to a toilet... The nurses were not authorised to use the straps and it is suspected other residents were treated the same way... All unauthorised straps have been removed from the home and nursing staff have been educated on the correct use of safety straps."

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Comments (11)

Weed Whacker Smacker
NBC Chicago | Submitted by: Oh Lewis!
"Prosecutors allege the son struck his father several times earlier that morning with a weed whacker while the man was asleep on the futon in the home's computer room... The man suffered from "massive head wounds" and was found dead."

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Comments (16)

It's So Cold In The D
Detroit Free Press | Submitted by: furpo
"The day after a particularly bloody 24-hour period in Detroit, another nine people were shot in six separate incidents between 6 a.m. Saturday and 6 a.m. Sunday... In addition, Detroit Police are now reporting one additional shooting from 6 a.m. Friday to 6 a.m. Saturday, bringing the total to 16 people shot, six fatally, during that 24-hour period."

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Comments (14)

Mother Takes Care Of Pedo Problem
CBS News | Submitted by: lord redpubes
"I got down to the alley and I confronted him. I said, Why are you staring at the kids? and he looks at me and says, I want to marry the red head. I came unglued at that point. I was like Dude, she's only 13 and that's my daughter." Police said Pullen punched Harding in the fucking face."

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Comments (18)

Now Say Wrestling Is Fake
Sun Sentinel | Submitted by: anonymous
"63-year-old ex-wrestler Fred Kemp was closing the door of his 2011 Volkswagen Jetta when the robber stuck a gun in his face, then started to pistol whip him in the head... "...So I reacted from there. I got him out into the street and held his arm. I foot-sweeped him down and I was trying to get a hold of the gun." Kemp maneuvered the suspect into a rear naked choke hold, or "sleeper hold," then took the gun as the victim was about to pass out... Kemp showed the bad guy no mercy. "He asked me to let him go when I had him down," Kemp said. "I said, No, I'm not going to do that."

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Comments (17)

Aussie Collar Bomber Denouement
Guardian | Submitted by: chicken
"The man accused of chaining a fake bomb to a teenager's neck after breaking into her family home in Australia was tracked down using the Gmail address he left on the ransom note... Paul "Doug" Peters, 50, was arrested on Monday by an FBI SWAT team at the home of his ex-wife in a suburb of Louisville, Kentucky... The note was apparently signed "Dirk Struan" -- the central character in James Clavell's 1966 novel Tai-Pan, set in 19th-century Hong Kong. The Gmail account was accessed three times -- all on the afternoon that Peters allegedly broke into the teenager's home."

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Comments (9)

Phone Hacking STFU
Wire Services | Submitted by: anonymous
"Goodman also claims the phone-hacking was "widely discussed in the daily editorial conference, until explicit reference to it was banned by the editor"... The editor of News of the World at the time was Andy Coulson, who went on to become the press secretary to Prime Minister David Cameron, and resigned earlier this year. He was arrested in July, along with the former News International chief Rebekah Brooks, in connection with the phone-hacking allegations."

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Comments (4)

Left At Green Boots And On To The Summit
Buzz Feed | Submitted by: Niko.D
"The hardest part about climbing Mount Everest is the graves" according to most mountaineers. The way to the summit of the world's tallest mountain is littered with approximately 200 known corpses, some over 70 years old, that have been preserved from decay due to the climate's extreme cold. Some of these corpses are reportedly used as landmarks by climbers."

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Comments (18)

Mama, The Bears Are Back
Daily Mail | Submitted by: P Ray
"Distraught mother listened on mobile phone as teenage daughter Olga was eaten alive by brown bear and its three cubs... At first Tatiana think daughter is joking: "But then I heard real horror and pain in Olga’s voice, and sounds of bear growling and chewing." In a second call, weak Olga gasped: "Mama, the bears are back. She came back and brought three babies. They're... eating me."

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Comments (202)


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